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Tuesday, May 29, 2012

It’s Like Looking in a Mirror

My children are unique and wonderful individuals, but I can definitely see myself in them, especially the older two who have moved beyond the nebulous infant and toddler years.

Norah has my body type (tall and stick-like), while Graeme has my hair texture, which doesn’t grow long so much as thick and helmet-like. Miles has brown hair which, thus far, is the only thing physically similar to me that I’ve discovered. It is sorta neat to see how genetics has divvied up the physical characteristics of myself and my husband between our three kids.

When it comes to personality, though, I’ll be completely honest: it is often a painful and frustrating kick in the pants to see that my own mannerisms and temperament have not skipped multiple generations (as I might have preferred) but have expressed themselves clearly and strongly in my children.

Of the three, Graeme is my most consistent challenge, and after reading the parenting book Raising the Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, I realized that a large part of my problem with his behavior is that it is so much like my own. He doesn’t sit still ever (like his dear old mom). He is loud (like mom). He is persistent to a fault (again, like mom).

As I continue on this journey of raising children, I am seeing how beautiful and aggravating it can be to see myself reflected back at me when I look at my offspring.

Contributed by Carrie Vittitoe, parent-writer for Today’s Family magazine.

1 comment:

  1. How true! It's all there - they are like little sequels. But they also take some good pages out of our books, no? I don't know your kids personally, but I'm guessing they also have some of your passion and enthusiasm, your loyalty and supportiveness, your dedication and stick-to-it-ive-ness and determination . . . shall I go on?
    When writer Calvin Trillin's kids did something that reflected him - or good sense in general - he would say, with pride I think, "whoever raised you did a fantastic job."


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