Confidence or Competence?

Q: “My 14-year-old daughter is having problems with confidence. As parents, we do everything we can to encourage her. We have her involved in many activities and praise her frequently, but her confidence is simply not there. Academically, she’s on target. She loves learning. But how can we ensure she develops the self-esteem she needs to be socially successful?”

Joyce: Consider something more important than confidence your daughter needs in order to become successful in life: competence. Our culture has shifted the emphasis on our children from equipping them with aptitude to focusing on a self-centered attitude. Parents tend to concentrate more on a child’s self-esteem, but competence is the winning ticket that develops confidence.

I would suggest you target what your child excels in academically, what interests her on a skill level, and what direction she might want to focus on as a career. Developing an area of expertise for your child will prepare her for a fruitful and efficient career. Her competency will exude confidence, which will transcend to every aspect of her life — personal, home, and future career.

Need family advice? Write Joyce Oglesby, Family-Life Fitness Pro, at joyce@JustAskJoyce.com. Check out her books and other resources today at JustAskJoyce.com. Listen to The Just Ask Joyce Show M-F at 10am on WNDA 1570/WLRS 1600 AM, or stream it on TuneIn.