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Tuesday, July 8, 2014

New Mom Woes


Q: “My mother-in-law is beginning to make my life miserable. I’m a new mom, and I can’t seem to do anything right in her eyes. She always has a better way to do things, and my baby seems to respond. It’s breaking my heart. How do I stop resenting and not snap? I don’t want to cause a family squabble, but it really is becoming a nuisance.”  

Joyce: Become a student. Don’t be threatened by her presence. Invite it — on your terms. If she is “taking over,” you and your husband should set some tender boundaries regarding visiting times. If she’s a drop-in-at-will mom, you might need to be more assertive. Appreciate her best intentions. She’s an old hand at child-rearing. But, learn to silently “reject” her help. Rest assured, there will come a time when her services will be desired.

In the meantime, take delight in the fact that no one will take your place in your child’s eyes. The sound of your voice, your touch, and your unconditional love were set in place in the womb. However, a child needs a grandmother’s attention as well. When the entire family unit is concerned for the child’s best interest, it creates a loving environment. Draw your boundaries, but do so with a loving stick.


Need family advice? Write Joyce Oglesby, Family-Life Fitness Pro, at joyce@JustAskJoyce.com. Check out her books and other resources today at JustAskJoyce.com. Listen to The Just Ask Joyce Show M-F at 10am on WNDA 1570/WLRS 1600 AM, or stream it on TuneIn.

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