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Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Just Ask Joyce: Pre-teen Drama

Q: “My pre-teen is always involved in stressful drama. I know that’s typical for girls, but it’s getting out of hand. I see an aggression I don’t like. How can I turn this around?”   

Joyce:  Aggressive behavior in your daughter can only materialize from two sources: others or herself. Is she hostile or angry because someone is being mean to her, or is she the one being mean to others? As parents, we recognize patterns in our children’s personalities. We typically know if they tend to lean toward unpleasant conduct. Look for these signs when assessing the root cause of the drama being injected into your family:

1. Is she bossy or controlling? If she is bossy at home, she likely is bossing her peers, too. Teach her the qualities of a good leader. Being bossy can alienate, not elevate.

2. Does she talk about others with a mean spirit? Impress upon her how lonely it can become if she offends every kind friend. 

3. Have you caught her telling lies or embellishing gossip? If the answer is yes, remind her how she felt when an untruth was told about her. A reputation is something to be preserved. She is developing hers now, and a bad one is difficult to overcome.

4. Does she respect authority? Signs of aggression are indicators of setting one’s own rules. Define your boundaries in the home to equip your child for a successful life. Putting rules in place and enforcing the consequences will not guarantee a different mindset for your daughter, but it will give you peace of mind and free you from regret.

Be the parent who doesn’t allow your child to self-destruct. If this pattern of conduct continues, seek professional help. Aggressive behavior can get out of hand quickly.

Change your life … NOW! Write Joyce Oglesby, Family-Life Fitness Pro™, at I’m here to help! Check out my books and other resources today at Listen to my live talk show Monday through Friday on WFIA 94.7fm/900am at 3pm.


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