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Monday, April 15, 2013

What's a B-List Superhero?


Find out how these B-List Superheroes get the job done.
 
Queen Scrap-it – She waits on the curb at dawn on the trash day before Christmas to give the hauler his holiday tip. Other people whine about what the hauler refuses to haul. She says, paraphrased, “all I know is, my stuff gets gone.”

Roy G. Biv-ulous – Whatever it is you’re looking for, she knows what color you need, to match whatever.

Perfect Pitch Man – He can pick the perfect...
...book for anyone he needs to “gift.” Remarkably, he’s not a librarian, nor an educator, nor even a bookseller. He’s a physical therapist.

Shark Woman – She gets a parking spot by the door. Every time.

Accessory Girl – She can loan you the perfect handbag or clutch for any occasion, to match any shoes. She could loan you the right shoes, too, assuming you wear a 9.

Dr. Nose – He could smell unnecessary work. Even when you didn’t preface your request with “maybe,” “I’m thinking,” or “reckon whether we should,” he always knew if time expended on your project would come to naught.

Madame Loo – She can tell you, anywhere, anytime, where the closest public restroom is. If you’re not in a huge hurry, she can steer you toward the one most likely to be tidy.

Captain Ferengi – I know who’s got it, who can do it, or who wants what you’re throwing away. In a crowded room of friends and acquaintances, I can tell you who’s got a band-aid, who not only has jumper cables but also knows how to use them, and who could use 200 wire hangers.


Contributed by Elaine Jack, Assistant Editor, Today's Family magazine.
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