By Joyce Oglesby
Q: “I can’t get my almost-3-year old to stop saying, ‘No!’ I tell him to do something, he says, ‘No!’ I ask him to eat, play, stop, he says, ‘No!’ We’ve been working on this for nearly six months now. Nothing seems to work. We’ve tried time-out, taking things away, spanking his hand. It doesn’t matter what we do — he is still defiant. Any suggestions?”
Joyce: We could quickly attribute his behavior to the Terrible Twos, but let’s not. This is likely a phase, but I understand your concern. Defiance is nothing to sniff at. He is old enough to understand that disrespect will not be tolerated.
Time-outs and hand-spanks might not be effective now, but give the taking away of things a bit more time, and it will become much more important to your child. If he’s at the table and says “No!” to eating, he gets no treat afterward or nothing until the next meal. If he says, “No!” at playtime, toys get put away — totally out of sight until he can apologize for his behavior and say he won’t do it again. If he says, “No!” when you ask him to stop, this could be a bigger concern. If he runs from you, say on a sidewalk and into the path of an oncoming car, “No!” is not the answer you want to hear. I would encourage you to continue your path of restrictions and appropriate punishment until he understands and submits to your authority. If he still refuses to obey, the lack of respect will only heighten. But remember: he is only 2. There is time to rein in his behavior and come to an understanding of who is the parent and who is the child. It’s a must. Keep up the good work!
Need Family Advice? Struggling with a relationship issue? Write Joyce Oglesby, Family Life FIX-IT Pro at justaskjoyce@gmail.com. Listen to The Just Ask Joyce Show weekdays at 3pm on WFIA 94.7fm/900am.
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